Every year since I can remember I couldnt wait for Christmas to come and the first snow fall....But now the snow is falling and my favorite time of the year is right around the corner and none of that seems to matter now.
I woke up this morning and for a quick second I "forgot" what had happen and then it all came back to me like it did when it happen. The shock, emptiness, ache in my heart...Was back...Again!
Thinking of her holding him, feeding him, and knowing I will never see him again is so unbearable I have been trying to keep myself busy so that those thoughts wont creep back into my head.
I find myself wondering will she call and say this was a mistake , I cant do it, come and get your son and then I quickly tell myself that she wont and my heart breaks all over again.
R has stayed home from work to be with me but has thrown himself into his own work as well...We look at each other and we know without a word spoken...We both miss him already and have no idea what we are going to do without him?!?
I asked him today when this pain will go away and he said he doesnt think it will...It will always be there in some way or another.
I guess for now we need to take it day by day.
No comments:
Post a Comment